


I am Terra

by JohskatheWise



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: (I'll consider it an accomplishment if I get all the way through), (I'm basically just introducing her companions), (if it's not I will be pleasantly surprised), (unless you count Jaal but I don't even think I'll get that far), And anxiety, Custom Ryder - Freeform, Daddy Issues, Engineer Ryder, Inaccurate Dialogue, Inaccurate Sequence, Latino Character, Literally just writing from memory, Ryder is attracted to everyone, So things WILL be out of order, Terra and Baby Love Each Other Very Much, Terra doesn't hate her dad, They are inseparable, This story is basically focused on Terra's introspection, at least until the Initiative, but she doesn't actually date anyone, but she doesn't idolize him, or have romantic relationships, ryder twin bonding, she's weak to beautiful people, so game events are glossed over, that's more Baby's speed, then the game just rips them apart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2018-10-15 19:17:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10556316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohskatheWise/pseuds/JohskatheWise
Summary: Losing both of your parents and having your twin brother put in a medically induced coma while being handed responsibility you are in no way prepared for and forced onto a ship full of near-strangers is not helpful to an insecure, genius engineer.-or-Terra Ryder is trying her best and, dammit, she hopes that's good enough because she's trying really hard not to cry.





	1. Initiating First Contact Protocols: Cora Harper

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is basically just my Ryder meeting her companions, so expect like 6 chapters covering the game up to Aya/Voeld. 
> 
> Dialogue should be pretty original since I'm honestly approximating everything that was said. I want this to be a pretty chill writing experience, so I'm not putting too much effort in keeping the game events straight.
> 
> Hope you like it. :)

Terra had only met Cora Harper briefly before she went into cryosleep.

At the time, Terra had been kneeling next to her brother’s cryopod with her omnitool out. She was performing her third check of the system’s code to make sure everything was alright and ready to go for the six century long journey out of this cesspool of toxic memories and monstrous bigotry and—

“Is there a problem with the pod?” Terra looked up and was floored. Smooth skin, short blond hair and warm, curious eyes. She wasn’t a stranger to attraction, but  _dios mío, ¿alguna vez has visto a alguien tan hermoso?_

“I—ah, no. Nothing wrong. Just,” Terra coughed and shoved a hand into her dark hair, “checking it over. Making sure everything’s a-o-kay. Heh.”

“Right.” And whoa, her  _voice_. There was a slight rasp as she drew out the word that had Terra’s face warming. “I’m Lieutenant Cora Harper. I don’t think we’ve met.”

“I know! I-I mean, we haven’t met. My dad mentioned you.” Terra scrambled to her feet and jerked her hand out in front of her. She winced, “I’m, uh, Terra Ryder. Recon specialist. It’s great to,  _ehem_ , meet you.”

Cora smiled with an eyebrow raised, and she felt her heart sink. She knew that look. That was the  _she’s a such a weirdo!_  look. A familiar look, if she was honest with herself.

“Should’ve known. You share an almost eerie resemblance to your father.” She grasped her hand firmly and shook it ( _Cora’s supposed to be an Asari Huntress how does she have such smooth hands!?)_. “I’ve heard good things about your time with the Prothean researchers.”

“Good things about my ability to protect lab coats from wild pyjack attacks?” Terra scoffed before she realized what she said and smiled awkwardly. “Sorry. Right. Um, yeah. If you think I look like my dad, wait until you see Baby.”

“Baby? Who’s—?”

“That would be me.” Terra could have kissed her brother for choosing that moment to join the conversation. “The name’s Sky Ryder. Or, if you ask my family, Baby.”

Baby just waltzed up to them with bright amber eyes and a blinding smile on his stupid, scarred, tattooed face. His hair, a lighter brown than hers, was stuck up in the same course curls he got from their  _abuelo_  at haphazard angles. He’d probably just gotten up, the lazy bum.

Terra rolled her eyes and relaxed. “You were supposed to be here an hour ago, Baby. We go to cryo in ten.”

He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his chest. “Sorry, lady, but I needed my beauty rest.” He dropped a kiss on Terra’s forehead ( _“Beauty rest, my ass,” she muttered. “We’re about to get six hundred_ years _of rest.”_ ) before releasing her and holding out his hand to Cora. “Lt. Harper, it’s a pleasure.”

“Uhm, oh. Yes. Likewise,” Cora flushed and Terra’s heart just shattered. The baby bro strikes again, it seems. “I look forward to working with you. Two. You two. Both of you. I should, uhm, go find your father. The Pathfinder. On the bridge. We’ll be heading out soon.”

“History in the making,” Terra acknowledged. Her lips stretched woodenly across her face in a way that made the scars on the right side of her face catch the light.

“Exactly,” Cora nodded. She caught Baby’s eye briefly. “I’ll see you two on the other side.”

Watching her walk away was a sight Terra would probably dream about for the next six hundred years.

“Your drooling,” Baby grinned.

Terra shoved him. “Shut up. Am not, you loser.”

“No, no, you definitely are. Can’t say I blame you, though.” He looked back at Cora’s retreating form speculatively. “I think she can bench press you.”

She groaned. “Don’t  _tell_  me that! Now it’s in my head, and I’m gonna go to bed all hot and bothered. I’m going to  _wake up_  in six hundred years all hot and bothered.”

Baby smirked. “I think she can bench press  _me_. Hey,  _ouch!_ ” He rubbed his shoulder and glared at her. “ _No juegues de manos!_ ”

“I hate you. So much. Do you even try to be unattractive near me?” Terra crossed her arms and leaned against his cryopod. She sighed. “Forget it. I checked out your pod. It’s all set.”

“Hey, don’t worry. She may not be your type—” (“What are you talking about? She’s  _totally_  my type. That’s the  _problem_.” — “Terra, your type is anything that breathes and thinks for itself.”) “—but that doesn’t mean you need to be so down about it. There’s plenty of aliens in the galaxy and probably more in Andromeda.”

He gave her the biggest shit-eating grin she’s ever seen, and she laughed. “What would  _papi_  say if he heard you encouraging me into xenophilia?”

- _He’d say to make sure you’re at least biologically compatible first_.- Their father’s voice said through their comms.

They both tensed and stared at each other wide-eyed. “ _Papi!_  Uh, Pathfinder, sir,” they said in sync.

A couple of the people in the cryobay glanced at them.

- _At ease, children. Just checking in. You’re both scheduled to go into cryosleep soon. Are you ready?-_

Terra glanced at her brother. He looked back at her with his brow arched slightly. His gaze was as heavy as it was imploring. She sighed. “Yeah. Did you, uh, get my things transferred? The two crates. The blue ones.”

 _-The crates full of chocolate and seeds?-_  Her dad laughed. She resolutely ignored the look Baby sent her.  _-Yeah, I got them. They’re secured in my quarters for you. What about you, Baby?-_

“Is that gonna be a thing in Andromeda? Am I ever going to be called by my actual name?”

- _No.-_  Their dad said.

“Not likely,” Terra grinned.

“Of course not,” he sighed. “And yeah. I’m good to go,  _papi_. Though I could use a hug.”

- _Hug your sister. I’ve got flight prep to go through. I’ll see you both when you wake up. Be safe. Pathfinder out.-_

“An entire crate of chocolate,” Baby said immediately after their father signed off, and she knows it’s because he doesn’t want to hear her criticize the man, so she goes with it. Now isn’t the time to start a fight. Not before cryo. Not in front of all these strangers.

“Laugh all you want, but, when the repopulation effort kicks off, all those women on their periods will be coming to me with their credits.” Terra pushed herself off the pod and slapped her hand against it twice. “And, for the record, I’ve got all our spanish needs checked off in those seeds. Cilantro? Check.  _Pimiento?_  Check.  _Cebolla, ajo y_ chayote _?_  Check, check and check. Also, cacao seeds. Can’t run out of chocolate.”

“Good to know I’m not the only one who thought ahead. There’s a year supply of  _tamales_  waiting for us in my storage crate.” Baby winked at her. “We’ll be eating like kings while everyone else is on nutrition paste.”

“That’s good to know. Just enough time to get a garden goin—”

A beep over the ark’s comms interrupted them. Immediately, it was like the easy comradery they had was sucked out of the air and airlocked into open space.

[ _All first-wave personnel report to the cryobay. Initiate first-wave cryosleep.]_

“That’s us,” Terra said anxiously. She reached out and grabbed Baby’s hand in both of hers. It was comforting how similar their hands were: the same copper skin. Some freckles. Some moles. Some scars. Though his hand was bigger than hers, and it was somehow still less calloused.   _Biotics_. He was a way better biotic than she was. She could only move small objects around like a comb or datapad, while he could absolutely pulverize a small shuttle on his own. He didn’t need to tote a sniper rifle around when he could just magic his way out of danger. “We’re really doing this, huh?”

“What? Crossing dark space to a completely unknown, never before travelled galaxy with nothing but a couple of  _tamales_  and a crate of chocolate? Looks like it.” He smiled again, and it struck her how similar it looked to their mother’s smile. Anybody could look at them and say that Terra was the spitting image of their mother while Baby was a mini-Alec Ryder, but it was their smiles that said otherwise. Baby smiled like  _mami_ , and Terra? She’d only seen pictures of her father smiling freely, but it was definitely  _her_  smile she saw on his face.

“ _Sky_ ,” she squeezed his hand tighter as her heartrate picked up, “I’m serious. This is dangerous. This is  _crazy_.” She couldn’t breathe. Shit, was there an atmo breach? Why couldn’t she breathe? “I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you, and you wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for dad, and dad wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for  _mam—_ ”

“Okay, Terra,” Baby cut her off, “ _Calmate_. Alright? Deep breaths.” He tugged her close and wrapped his arms around her. “You’re not here for me. You’re here for the adventure. You’re here to learn about new species and new biomes and new technology. You’re here because you love the Protheans. You’re here because you’re tired of your research being ignored. Your tired of being a Ryder in the Alliance. Okay? I convinced you to come, yeah, but you’re here for you. Not for me. That’s right, take another breath. Good.”

Terra took another breath and nodded.

“You good?”

“I’m good.”

“Good.” Baby stepped away from her and gestured to the cryopod next to his. “Hop in. I want to be the last face you see before you go to sleep, and you better be the first I see.”

“A hundred credit says I touch down planet side first,” she laughed as he helped her get into the pod. “Ya know, like I did back on Earth.”

“Two minutes. Just two minutes and you act like you completed the Boston Marathon. Unbelievable!"

“I have completed the Boston Marathon. Twice.”

“You know what, yeah. I’ll take the bet. I’ll kick your ass, too. Easiest hundred creds I’ll ever make. Now, lady, go to sleep. I’ll see you in, oh, six hundred years.”

His smiling face through the glass of the pod was the last thing Terra saw before she shut her eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Dios mío, ¿alguna vez has visto a alguien tan hermoso?: My god, have you ever seen someone so beautiful?  
> Abuelo: Grandfather  
> No juegues de manos: lit. Don't play from hands; meaning, don't get physical.  
> Papi: Dad  
> Pimiento/Cebolla/Ajo: Bell Pepper, Onion, Garlic (It's common for children who grow up with a different language at home to call household items by their name in that language, so Terra and Baby pretty much call ingredients by their Spanish names.)  
> Tamales: A tamale is a traditional Mesoamerican dish made of dough, which is steamed in a corn husk or banana leaf.  
> Mami: Mom  
> Calmate: Calm yourself.


	2. Initiating First Contact Protocols: Liam Costa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not what Terra meant by touching down planet side first.

Terra wouldn't say she really “met” Liam Kosta before her entire life went to shit.

After waking up from cryo six hundred plus years away from the Milky Way galaxy, she’d only caught a brief glimpse ( _Way too brief,_ she’d thought breathlessly as he smiled at her from across the room and waved. She waved back, fighting off the urge to duck her head and hide) of him. Then, Doctor Lexi T’Perro, an insanely gorgeous asari with the most soothing bedside manner, was walking her through a medical exam.

Was it just her or was everyone on Ark Hyperion some kind of model?

“We’re just about to wake up Sky, if you want to stay,” Lexi was saying. “It’s nice to see a familiar fa—”

And that’s when everything went to shit. They hit something. Baby’s pod started racing towards them and it would have hit them if Terra hadn't sent the strongest biotic push she could muster (it only stopped it for a second, just a second, she’s _not good with biotics_ _she’s weak_ ) before gravity shut off and suddenly the pod was floating over them.

Then Cora shows up and normally Terra would be absolutely riveted by her because she’s beautiful and so is Lexi and so is Liam and so many people (and she’s _weak_ to beautiful things _can’t you tell?_ ), but all she can think about is Baby.

Baby whose pod slammed against the ground _while he was still in it_ after gravity was reset. Baby whose pod was _sparking_. Baby whose pod wasn't _working_ and doctors were rushing toward it in panic.

“Will Lt. Harper and the Ryders report to the bridge?” says her father over the intercom and she ignores it because Baby is still in his pod. He’s not supposed to be in his pod.

“What happened?” Terra demands and stares down the group of doctors unflinchingly, and Lexi looks at her with wide eyes because she hadn't been this authoritative a few minutes ago. Hell, Terra hadn't even looked her in the eyes for more than two seconds through the entire exam.

“The reanimation process was interrupted,” Lexi says. “We have to put him in a medically induced coma and wait for him to wake up on his own.”

“Will he be alright?”

“Yes. He’ll be fine. It will take time, though.”

And Terra nods once, rests her hand over the glass of the pod where she can just barely make out the outline of her brother’s head, and turns to where Cora is standing awkwardly to the side. “We should head to the bridge.”

“Yeah. Your father will be waiting.” Cora hesitates for a moment then pats Terra’s shoulder softly. “He’ll be alright.”

Terra smiles the same wooden smile she gave Cora six hundred years ago. “He will. Let’s go. Don’t want to keep the Pathfinder waiting.”

So, yeah, Terra didn’t _really_ meet Liam Kosta until she boarded the shuttle to Habitat 7. Crisis response, he said. _You didn't respond when Baby was in trouble_ , she thought.

Then the shuttle’s being ripped apart and Liam’s hanging on by a hand. She reaches for him, trying to pull him back in, trying to save him like she couldn't save her brother, and then she’s flying. Swept away into the atmosphere of Habitat 7 only her jump jets aren't working.

“SAM!?” she yells as she falls, and the AI works quickly to get the jump jets working because if he doesn't she’ll die _and this is not what she meant by touching down planet side first_.

“Jump jets engaged,” SAM says calmly, and it isn't the sudden lurching of the jump jets activating that knocks the breath out of her but the relief. She wasn't dead. Not yet.

Only, perhaps she spoke too soon. There’s a crack in her helmet, and she can’t breathe. She gasps but there isn't enough oxygen. Panicked, she activates her omnitool and punches in the repair code. Suddenly she can breathe again, and she’s left collapsed on the ground like a limp blanket.

She doesn’t know how long she lies there, but it’s long enough for the adrenaline to fade and leave her shaking. She gasps, but this time it’s because she’s crying. Everything has gone to shit. Her brother was in a coma. Her _twin_ brother. Habitat 7 was a bust. They couldn't contact the Nexus. She was going to die on this fucking planet six hundred years away from her mother’s grave. Baby would wake up and find out he couldn't even visit her remains because they were located on this corner of hell. Holy shit, why did she leave the Milky Way? Because of her fucking pride? Because she was tired of her work with the Protheans being ignored in favor of the asari and salarians? She was going to die because she couldn't handle the sting of being ignored? How fucking petty could she be? She should never have come here. She should never—

“Ryder? Ryder!” Terra shoots to her feet as Liam runs towards her. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” She’s not fine. “Where are the others? Are they okay?”

“Comms are down. So’s SAM. We’re on our own.”

She pulls out her omnitool more to give her hands something to do than to orient herself. “The shuttle was heading in that direction. We should check for survivors.”

And then there’s lightening. And then there’s hostile aliens. And then they find Cora and her father’s shuttle but her father isn't there and never in her life had she wanted her father to just hold her like she wanted him to hold her at that time. But there are aliens to fight (non-native aliens—visitors like them—what did that mean?—whose ruins were those?—did these aliens _kill_ them?) and wounded to protect and then the comms are up and her dad’s on the line. He has a solution to the weather.

Terra knew N7s were tough, but _solving the weather_ sounds a little outside their pay-grade.

But her father does solve the weather with the help of SAM and the monolith that’s being affected by the dark energy cloud. He solves it, and she’s so relieved she throws her arms around her father and he holds her against him and _maybe Baby was right? Maybe she was too hard on her father. He did love them, he just didn't know how to show it_.

And then they’re being blown off the edge and they slam against the ground and she can’t breathe again. She can’t breathe, and this time it’s not a crack in her visor but the whole thing is gone. Shattered. She gasps, her back arching painfully as she tries to get oxygen. Her omnitool says that oxygen levels are rising but not fast enough. She’ll be dead by the time there’s enough oxygen. She’ll be dead. Baby will wake up from his coma and she’ll be dead. Tears sting her eyes and she’s crying. She’s crying as her dad gets close to her. She’s crying as she stares into the topaz eyes she and Baby inherited from him. She’s crying and suddenly he’s crying too.

He removes her helmet.

“Wha—? No, don’t,” she tries to say but she can’t get the air she needs.

Her dad takes off his helmet and slams it on her head and suddenly she can breathe.

“ _Te amo_.” She can’t hear it, but she can see his lips form the words as her vision goes dark and she falls unconscious.

When she wakes up, it’s to the cold sterility of SAM Core.

Her father’s dead. He made her Pathfinder.

Baby’s still in a coma.

And Liam tells her everything will be okay.

She’s never wanted to introduce her omniblade to someone’s face as much as she did at that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Te amo: I love you.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading. Leave a comment and let me know what you think, yea? ;D


	3. Initiating First Contact Protocols: Vetra Nyx

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does this galaxy have a problem with letting people keep their shit together?

Meeting Vetra Nyx was strange for Terra.

On one hand, holy _shit_ was she tall and those purple markings on her face were absolutely distracting (Terra loved purple. It was her second favorite color. She had a purple tattoo on the right side of her face that trailed down her neck, and she wore purple eye shadow), but, well, as was a recurring theme, she met Vetra in the middle of a shit show.

The Nexus was _empty_ when they got there. It was dark and quiet, and if some kind of creepy alien tried to jump at her face when she turned this corner, _she swore to god_ —aaaaaand there was Avina.

The VI hadn’t been updated in a while. It acted as if everything was business-as-usual when it straight up looked like the Nexus was the set of a late night scifi horror vid.

Not that Terra knew what a late night scifi horror vid set would look like. She didn’t watch those. Nightmares, ya know?

There was only one person in the atrium besides Avina, and he was kneeling on the ground facing away from them and if he turned out to have no face when he turned around, Terra swore she would scream bloody murder and just book it to the Milky Way.

“We’re with Ark Hyperion,” Terra said to the man. “I’m Terra Ryder, the human Pathfinder.”

And wasn’t that weird to say. She felt her chest constrict a little (oh _god_ , she was the Pathfinder now, holy _shit_ ) and subtly breathed in. She held her breath for a moment before letting it out. She could do this. She had to do this.

And then there was a Turian (a _hot_ turian, dammit) named Tiran Kandros telling them they’d given up on the Arks. Apparently the Nexus went to shit too.

And then there was a human, Addison. Then a salarian, Tann. A krogan, female, named Kesh.  The three of them bickering back and forth, Addison and Tann throwing a snide remark at her every once in a while, as if it were _her_ fault that the Nexus couldn’t keep their shit together for a year and a half.

Terra ignores them because she understands. She was stationed with a group of Prothean researchers once who accidentally got them all stranded inside a ruin for a week. She knew how quickly things fell apart when resources were scarce. She lets them talk, let’s them bitch to their hearts’ content now that there’s a new face to complain to. A new face whose job it is to fix everything.

She lets them vent, asking questions here and there to get an idea of what she’s dealing with now, until Addison says something that makes her shut down.

“If only Alec were here,” she sighs.

Terra feels the polite smile on her face shatter for a second. Her mouth opens. To say what? She doesn’t know.

Alec died saving me.

He chose me.

He loved me.

If he were here, I’d be dead.

In the end, she says nothing. Instead, she takes a breath, recrafts the polite smile, and listens as Tann and Kesh argue.

When they show her the ship they’re giving her, the _Tempest_ (and she has to stop herself from tearing up because _fuck_ , why don’t they just gut her and rub salt in the wound while they’re at it? That fucking storm. _Fuckfuckfuck!_ ), she hears Liam and Cora gasp in awe.

They murmur to each other about speed and thrust and cargo capacity, and normally Terra would jump at the chance to talk about how the design would even _work_ in a gravity zone, but she can’t because Vetra Nyx just strolled up to her and charmed a worker out of a job like she was born to do it.

When she turns to face her, Terra can’t quite keep the awe out of her voice. “Marry me.”

And that was not what she meant to say. _Idiota!_ Think before you speak, you big moron!

Terra was about to apologize, but Vetra starts laughing and waves her off. “Hmm, you’re going to have to buy me dinner first.”

Her face _burns_ with the intensity of her blush and she’s so damn _lucky_ her skin is dark enough to disguise it. Terra coughs into her fist, her other hand shoved up into her hair and fisting around the roots, and tries to play it off. She smiles shyly. “Sad that the Nexus isn’t set up for entertainment then.”

Vetra laughs again. The sound sets her heart into a frantic pitter-patter that she can’t make herself hate, and suddenly Terra’s smiling goofily. It’s the happiest she’s been since, well, since.

That thought brings her emotions crashing down.

“Let me introduce you to the crew,” Vetra says, not noticing or not caring about her sudden melancholy.

“That’s a good idea,” Cora pipes in. She steps forward calmly, authoritatively, and locks eyes with Vetra. “Lt. Cora Harper, XO. It’d be nice to get to know the crew before we head out in a few hours.”

And Vetra leads them off to the side where three people stand. Two humans and a salarian.

Gil is the engineer, and Terra’s excited to meet him. He’s casual, but he knows his stuff. His smile makes her breath catch.

Suvi’s a full-time scientist, part-time copilot, part-time navigator. Her accent reminds Terra of her Aunt Yessenia, her mother’s aunt. Terra and Baby had met her only once before when she had come to visit them on the Citadel. Their aunt had emigrated to Glasgow when she was four. 

Kallo was…Terra wasn’t sure. He seemed competent and, honestly, she was just so happy that there was at least one person on the ship that didn’t turn her into a wet puddle of blushing goo. He’d probably be the only reason she’d stay sane.

_-Pathfinder, it is my duty to remind you that, should you have need of me, I am at your disposal.-_

Aaaand there was the second reason she’d stay sane. Ya know, if she ever got over the fact that she now came as part of a non-refundable package deal.

“Thank you, SAM,” Terra said. The others glance at her, Liam and Costa tapping at their comms with a frown, and she smiles uncomfortably. “Private channel. Pathfinder thing.”

“Right,” Cora said slowly. “We’ll be set to head out in just under half a Galactic Standard hour. The sooner we get to the Eos and establish an outpost, the better off the Initiative will be.”

“And to think, just this morning I was analyzing another pile of space debris. Soon, we’ll have a home,” Suvi smiled.

“It’d be nice,” Vetra hummed, “having a place to kick our feet up.”

“What are we waiting for standing around here?” Liam asked. He hopped from foot to foot briefly before letting out a holler. “Let’s move it, people!”

**Author's Note:**

> If you like what you've read, feel free to follow me on tumblr: http://johskathewise.tumblr.com.
> 
> I post social justice stuff and Mass Effect/Dragon Age stuff. It's been mostly Mass Effect lately, though. Lots of Rydaal stuff. Feel free to message me. ;)


End file.
